Hate Maine Winter? Then Why do You Live Here?

I love living in Maine.

I’ve lived here most of my life. There are several reasons I like to call Maine home. These include the beautiful landscapes, lack of people, and virtually no traffic (waiting 15 minutes on Forest Ave is no traffic. Try living on the Beltway in DC).

One of the best aspects of life here is the winter. Glorious snowstorms, epic alpine and Nordic skiing, snuggling by a wood stove, wearing a scarf and bean boot, challenging mountain hikes, extra blankets on the bed, and homemade soups and stews make Maine winters so special.

However, Maine is also known for one of the most annoying things about winter, which is non-stop complaints from miserable people.

I mention this because Paunxatawney Phil has been in the news again recently. The bloated forecaster saw his shadow, meaning a forecast of at least six more weeks of winter. This is the most wonderful news for Mainers and the industries here that thrive on it. However, you would never know because you are all unhappy.

I have zero patience for Mainers who hate winter. I’m not sure if you all know this, but Maine is in the northern hemisphere. It is over 3,000 miles from the equator. This means you have voluntarily chosen to live in a state that gets cold and chaotic when October comes and usually lasts until mid-April. That’s a long time with bad weather, but it’s been like that in Maine since…I don’t know…the dawn of man?

So if you all hate winter, then why are you all here? Why would you all expose yourselves to a climate that is not consistent with your way of life? Are you all just weather masochists? Do you all enjoy hating life daily until it gets warmer? What kind of psycho behavior is this?

I can hear you all saying, “But Chris, where do I go, moving is expensive.”

You all really think it’s more expensive to live in Alabama, West Virginia or Mississippi? Are you all proven insane? According to USA By the Numbers, Maine is the 11th most expensive state to live in. So what exactly is keeping you all here?

Winter haters have three options here in Maine.

1. move. We won’t miss you all.

2. Wait for climate change to completely wipe out Maine’s winter. That’s probably at least a generation or two away.

3. Suck it up, Buttercup. Embrace the cold, dark and wet. Get a hot tub. learn to ski. Meet some breweries. Find out how not to be unhappy during this incredible season.

However, if you all just want to stay here and complain and be miserable from October to April then be my guest. It’s a free country.

In the meantime I will enjoy the season, support the local industry and live life to the fullest.